Anne-Marie opens up: "My Brain Is Rewired" after motherhood

Anne-Marie was chatting with Scott Mills this morning on The Breakfast Show on BBC Radio 2. She talked about coping with anxiety and post-natal depression, as well as the difficulties of juggling two children (daughter Seven, one, and a son, two months) and creating routine.

AM: Getting back into music and being a mum has been really difficult, and then having a second one… it's like the attention spread of the two is difficult. It's just hard, but they're like, the most beautiful little things you've ever seen in your life, so it's kind of worth it. You know, when you're in bed at the end of the day and you're so exhausted, and then you look at pictures on your phone of them, and you're like, Oh, I love them so much when they're asleep.

SM: So many people will be listening to this thinking, you know maybe in the last two or three years they've had kids and feel exactly the same way But it affects everything. It affects your body.

AM: Oh yeah, I look different. I feel different. My brain is rewired. I swear everything has changed.

SM: Hormones all over the place.

AM: Yeah. I mean, I just feel like now I'm slowly getting my brain back to normal. Well, it wasn't normal in the first place, bear in mind! But it feels like I actually feel happy again. It's weird, because obviously I'm happy that I've had children, and I love them.

SM: But was your mood low?

AM: Yeah. I mean, I I actually had anxiety so bad when I first had Seven and I didn't want to be left alone. And I was like, don't leave the house don't go there, don't go there. And I didn't know there was such thing as postnatal anxiety. I only knew about postnatal depression. So I was like, oh, okay, that's a new one. So then I learned all about that, and then I went through postnatal depression. And that was about six months after Seven was born.

SM: And you've also been quite honest about the therapy that you go to, and that's really helped you.

AM: Yeah, you know what, therapy and me, that's a rollercoaster as well, because I started in lockdown, and I've done it consistently, and then I felt like I was okay, and I stopped doing it. And then I made the third album, and I was like, I don't need therapy anymore. I'm fine, and then I had Seven and then I was like, Okay, I'm sorry if you saw any of the interviews where I saidI don't need you anymore, can I have you back?! So now I do it again once a week.

SM: I saw your post earlier this week, and it said, you feel the most you felt in a long time because your head's been all over the place and the hormones, but now, only recently, you've just started feeling kind of okay again. And you're not the kind of person that had - you know, in this business - had any kind of routine. And you've had to become the person that now lives with one, and that's a big adjustment.

AM: Horrible, yeah, it is big, because, I mean, I've always looked at people who live in routine and thought, Oh, that looks pretty calm, yeah, like it's a calm lifestyle. When I think about routines, it stresses me out. I just get stressed if I'm not on time. It stresses me out. If I don't do it right it stresses me out. And I've had to become that person, the waking them up in the morning, the making the meals, which, by the way, I never ate like consistent three meals a day. And now I have to make three meals a day to make sure she's good, you know? So it's like, it's all just a massive change, and now I'm in a routine that's my life.

SM: Is there any advice you'd give to anyone going through something similar?

AM: Probably speak to someone. Because I just felt like, Oh, this is just how I'm supposed to feel. Because, you know, my hormones are all over the place, and I'm tired, but my iron was low, so tiredness was coming from my iron deficiency. It's like there's so many other options to what it could be than just being you’re a mum now, you know, so therapy is my best friend. But also tell people, because I never asked for help, and that's why I got so tired, right? And people think that you're sweet, when you're pretending to be okay.